What is Kink?

Kink refers to desires and (sexual) activities outside the norm.

It means being aroused by objects, people and/or scenarios in a way that most people would not. It can also mean being attracted to and aroused by things that are taboo for you personally or in your social context.

Originally the word “kink” refers to a tight curl, bump or twist in something that would otherwise be straight. Very curly hair is said to be “kinky” and wires can have “kinks” where they are twisted out of their straight shape. So essentially kink denotes interruption, a glitch and things not being smooth, like a knot in an old tree trunk.

To me it simply means that there is something noticeably different and perhaps a little disruptive.

I personally consider kink an umbrella term for any non-ordinary sexual practice under which fetishes and BDSM fall as specific subcategories.

What is considered “different” and “non-ordinary” is of course dependent on context and can change over time. While your grandparents may have considered sex toys kinky, your peers may find them commonplace. Things that were completely acceptable historically or in certain cultures, such as Roman orgies, wife-lending and having multiple spouses, are largely taboo in 21st century Europe. It all depends on the context.

We usually associate kinks with sexual arousal, but my experience in the kink community has shown that kinks can also excite us in a way that is non-sexual. Many forms of pet play or age play for instance provide arousal without necessarily being sexually stimulating. Kinks can be sexual, and often are, but they don’t have to be.

Contrary to popular belief, kink and BDSM aren’t only about sex. In fact, it is often about much, much more than that.